Moses and the Exodus
By Gene Aronowitz
I never liked Ramses, particularly when he became the Pharaoh.
I lived with Ramses in the palace of his father, whose daughter found me and brought me there. I lived what I thought was the good life, but that ended abruptly when someone saw me slay an Egyptian taskmaster who was beating a Hebrew slave. I left and moved to Midian but felt guilty for leaving because those slaves, my people, were being chained up, put down, and forced to do back-aching work like stone-breaking and brickmaking. That’s why I drink blue lotus flower tea all the time. It helps me deal with all that guilt, makes me feel relaxed, and it helps me sleep with pleasant dreams. But, this time, the dream was really weird.
I felt as if I was drowning. A big fish swam over to me and gave me that look. Then it said, “Go unto Pharaoh and say unto him, let my people go.”
“What?” I said.
“You heard me,” the fish replied. “Go on down to Egypt to make things right.”
I thought I should obey the fish, so I traveled to Ramses’ palace in Abydos. He greeted me warmly, “Hi Mo. How goes it?”
Jumpy, I blurted out, “You need to let your slaves leave this godforsaken place.”
“You must be kidding,” he said, his face scrunched up, his eyes squinty. He called in the chief overseer and said, “Stop supplying straw that the slaves use to make bricks. Tell them they have to get the straw but still build as much as before. And tell the slaves that it’s all because of him.” Ramses pointed at me and then had me kicked out of the palace.
The straw stopped coming, the work started piling up, the whips started cracking, and everybody was mad at me.
I could see that Ramses needed a little push, so I devised a plan I thought could work.
I gathered a group of trustworthy friends and we scraped magnetite off the rock walls near the Nile and collected a lot of red algae.
I went back to Ramses and said, “I will turn the water into blood this afternoon if you don’t agree to let my people go.”
“Yeah……right,” he said, waving his hand dismissively. Two guards picked me up by my armpits and carried me out of the palace.
My friends and I went down to a little canal that linked Abydos with the Nile River. When I could see that the townspeople were watching, I tapped the side of the canal with my rod. My co-conspirators, hiding behind bushes, threw the powder and algae into the canal, which turned a fetid red. The people shrieked, sounds that drifted all through the land.
I knew the frogs wouldn’t stay in the fouled water, so I returned to the palace. When I saw Ramses, I almost laughed because his face was, ironically, nearly as red as the water.
I said, “Horrendous plagues will continue if you do not let my people go.”
“Look, Moses," he said, “we go back a long way but don’t push it.”
“OK, suit yourself. I will call forth frogs unto the land.” Once again, he had me removed, warning that the next time would be the last time, but the frogs were already on their way. They began hopping all into peoples’ houses, and even into their beds.
Ramses paced around the palace and threatened to have the heads of all his advisors if they didn’t come up with something. He didn’t like everybody blaming him for not acting quickly enough. Then, he cried out from his balcony, “Don’t worry, my people. I have a plan to eliminate the frogs, which I will announce tomorrow.”
I had heard that there was a serious infestation of head lice among residents on the western bank of the Nile. It seemed likely that everyone would come together to hear about the plan. I was afraid to return to the palace but got word to Ramses that lice would soon inhabit the earth if he did not comply. The next day, the frenzied population gathered around the palace to hear the plan. While there, they embraced one another to give and get comfort. It was a real super-spreader event and, pretty soon, the heads of almost everyone were itching, and the hands of all the people were preoccupied with scratching.
Ramses summoned me to the palace and said, “OK. Enough! The slaves can have safe passage out of Egypt.”
Ramses had a reputation, among many people, of frequently lying. I hoped that this time would be different. But it wasn’t. Sure enough, just as we were all approaching the Red Sea, I got word that his army was coming after us.
That’s when I came out of it. A half-empty cup of blue lotus flower tea was propped precariously on my lap, the remaining brew almost touching the rim. Just then, my brother walked into the room. “Aaron,” I said, “I just got a great idea for a story. You can be one of the characters in it.” After I told about my dream, Aaron said, “It’s OK, but you need to change that fish character into something more plausible, maybe add a few more plagues and come up with a dramatic way for the Hebrews to get away from the army so they can live happily ever after.” He winked at me as he left.
Forgetting all about dinner, I fetched a few flat stones and stayed up half the night engraving my memoir of life in Egypt.
